A 26-year-old man broke up with his 19-year-old girlfriend because she wore high heels to a party. He said the heels made him feel less like a man. The woman shared what happened on Reddit’s r/AmIOverreacting forum in September 2025 because she wanted to know if she did something wrong.
The woman, who goes by purplehavocc on Reddit, said they went to a party where she wore heels. Her boyfriend got quiet and seemed upset the whole night. She said he was “super quiet and moody, barely talked to me” while they were there.
On the drive home, he told her straight up that he “hates when I wear heels because it makes me taller than him and it ’emasculates’ him.” He also said “it makes him feel like less of a man being with me.” She didn’t understand why this was such a big problem, so she tried talking to him about it through text messages the next day.
Things Got Even Worse Through Text
The text screenshots she posted showed him getting mean and rude. He told her she was “embarrassing to be around” and said that “when ur actually old enough and mature, u will remember this time and realise u f*cked up.” When she kept asking why the heels bothered him so much, he started using language that guys in online masculinity groups use.
He called himself “high value” and said he needs “someone who shows me off and compliments me” when he’s “around big big people who i can network with.” He told his ex that she was “too masculine” and that “ur not that” person he needs. The seven-year age difference between them became really clear as the texts went on.
A lot of people who read the post pointed out how immature he was acting. His weird worry about height might seem strange, but people have had similar experiences with their minds playing tricks on them, showing how fears can mess with what we think is real.
People in the comments quickly took her side and called out her ex-boyfriend. One person said the man was “pathetic” and that “the way he is speaking to you is disgusting.” They said he was clearly feeling bad about himself and trying to make her feel worse too. Another person said that someone talking about being “high value” is “a massive red flag” and that “a real man wouldn’t care” about being shorter.
A lot of people also talked about the age gap between them. One comment said “26 years old?? Dating teenagers while also behaving like one? You are much better off without him I promise.” Most people agreed that she was lucky to get out of this relationship early.
Other people told stories about their own bad relationships with guys who felt insecure. One woman talked about her ex who was shorter than her and would “loose his shit” when she wore platform shoes. She said breaking up with him “was the best thing I’d ever done.”
The woman who made the post said she didn’t know “whether to be sad or just embarrassed I even dated him in the first place.” After reading thousands of comments, most people told her she should feel glad about the breakup instead of sad.
Published: Oct 20, 2025 02:00 pm