A woman living with her in-laws says wives don’t need to mop the floor unless their names are on the house deed

A TikTok creator is offering women a different perspective on navigating relationships with their in-laws, and her advice centers on one simple rule. @shazmeeraqadri said women living with their in-laws do not need to do everyone’s housework unless their own names are on the property deed.

The video has drawn tens of thousands of likes for its practical tips on maintaining healthy boundaries with a partner’s family, as detailed by The Daily Dot. The core of her advice is a mindset shift: always act as a guest.

She explained that this rule applies both ways. When in-laws come to a woman’s home, they are guests, and when she visits their home, she is a guest there too.

Her housework rule comes with a very specific condition

The guest mentality becomes especially important for women who are living with their in-laws. The TikToker advised that unless a woman’s name is physically on the property deed, which does not count her husband’s name or the name of a future child, she does not need to be doing everyone’s housework. “You do not need to be mopping the floor,” she said. She also stressed that women should not go out of their way to do chores.

Her reasoning is that women are not their in-laws’ daughters, and their in-laws are not their parents. She said women often do not decenter their own parents, but they may start doing so with their in-laws. That can get complicated, she added, especially once a partner’s siblings and extended family members with a lot of opinions get involved.

The creator pointed out that women may visit extended in-laws and take part in household chores instead of simply being guests. She warned, “If you live like an appliance, then you will be remembered like one.” According to her, constantly doing everything can lead people to expect it without appreciating the work.

That pattern can lead to resentment and, eventually, arguments with a partner. He might even say he never asked for the work to be done, which she said is often true because the woman was never actually asked.

She believes that women who start out as visitors will not fall into this pattern. She said many women are told throughout their lives that their husband’s parents become their parents, and argued that the same logic is not applied to both partners, which leads to problems. Sharing a home with a partner’s family brings pressures of its own, as one woman’s six years living with in-laws showed.

The video wrapped up with a reminder that women should treat their in-laws like guests and do not have to do everything they ask. She said women are allowed to say no or simply tell their in-laws they are not available.

Commenters shared their own experiences, and many agreed with her advice. One person wrote, “I have the healthiest relationship with my in-laws. The key? Never speak. Christmas cards only.” Another joked that if his parents are her parents, she would be sleeping in until 10:00 AM, just as she does at her own parents’ house.