A woman says the men liking your photos aren’t your options, and warned that ‘not every man that wants you actually wants you’

A TikTok creator is pushing back on the idea that online attention from men equals real dating options. Creator @yapwithjuliana argues that one of the biggest lies social media tells women is that they have endless options, when what they really have is endless attention.

As first highlighted by The Daily Dot, the video has drawn hundreds of thousands of views and more than a thousand comments. Her message centers on the idea that a woman’s worth isn’t tied to the attention she receives from men.

She says men liking a woman’s photos, calling her beautiful, or wanting to sleep with her are forms of attention, not options. The real question, she argues, is how many of those men would actually commit.

Her list of questions makes those options look a lot smaller

In the video, she asks how many men would actually choose a woman, commit to her, and build with her. She also asks how many would sacrifice for her, stay when life gets difficult, and grow old and raise children with her.

That, she says, is when the list gets much shorter. According to the creator, many women assume attention gives them leverage and mistake compliments for commitment, even when the men offering them may not want a long-term relationship.

“Social media created this illusion that there’s always someone better waiting around the corner,” she says. She adds that this mindset can push women to keep looking for someone “better,” even when they may already have a meaningful connection.

The creator warns that this way of thinking can lead to regret, with some women eventually realizing the men they encountered were distractions rather than genuine relationship prospects. “Not every man that wants you actually wants you,” she says, adding that many people learn the lesson too late.

Many commenters agreed with her message about the difference between attention and commitment. “Attention is their oxygen, validation is their currency, and accountability is their kryptonite,” one user wrote, while another commented, “Attention doesn’t mean intention!”

Her message also drew praise from men in the comments, with several agreeing with her take on dating dynamics. One user questioned whether it was “another chat gpt script,” but still called it the most revolutionary thing they had heard in a while.

Attack of the Fanboy was unable to independently verify the claims, as they reflect solely @yapwithjuliana’s personal views shared on TikTok.