A raccoon was detained by animal control officers in Ashland, Virginia, after the little guy broke into a closed liquor store and threw a full-blown, drunken rampage, according to AP News. This isn’t just a simple break-in; this particular “trash panda” was causing serious chaos after deciding he needed a stiff drink early in the morning.
The incident began early Saturday when the masked burglar managed to breach the security of the Virginia liquor store while it was closed for business. Samantha Martin, an officer who works at local animal control, later detailed just how the tiny menace entered the building. Martin confirmed that the raccoon “fell through one of the ceiling tiles” before initiating his chaotic bender. Once inside, the raccoon went on what Martin described as a “full-blown rampage, drinking everything.”
When an employee showed up later that Saturday morning, the scene was truly awful. This wasn’t just a little spill. The raccoon caused significant damage, targeting the bottom shelf where the good stuff was kept. We’re talking about the scotch and whisky sections. Bottles were completely smashed, leaving a thick, expensive pool of alcohol all over the floor. Plus, the ceiling tile collapse added another layer of mess that the staff had to deal with.
At least it had the courtesy to make it into the bathroom
The suspect wasn’t hiding for long. Having clearly achieved peak party mode, the employee found the culprit passed out cold on the bathroom floor. You have to admit, finding a raccoon sleeping off a bender next to the toilet is probably one of the most bizarre things an employee can encounter on a Saturday morning.
Samantha Martin was the animal control officer called to handle the cleanup and transport. She had her fair share of giggles along the way, and honestly, who wouldn’t? This story is hilarious. Martin said she personally enjoys these little critters. “I personally like raccoons,” she said, calling them “funny little critters.” She summed up the whole situation perfectly, saying, “Another day in the life of an animal control officer, I guess.”
The Hanover County Animal Protection and Shelter confirmed they took the raccoon into custody following the break-in. While Animal Control officers are faced with much worse scenarios, they gave high commendations to Officer Martin for handling the situation with professionalism and humor. Their main focus was making sure the animal was okay, checking for any injuries. The agency confirmed that after a necessary period of recovery, the raccoon had successfully sobered up.
It seems the only lasting damage was likely a massive hangover and maybe some regret over his poor life choices. After ensuring he was totally fine, the shelter safely released the raccoon back into the wild. While a human breaking in would definitely be behind bars, they definitely hope the experience taught the little guy a valuable lesson about respecting private property and maybe sticking to trash cans instead of single malts.
The agency issued a statement upon his release, noting that he was sent back to nature “hopefully having learned that breaking and entering is not the answer.”
Published: Dec 3, 2025 04:30 pm