A mom says she was ‘shuddering in fear’ through hourly dilation checks, and she’s giving OB-GYNs six months to find a better way

Deborah Kwek Gilbert (debxrahkwek), who is pregnant with her second child, recently sparked a conversation about the realities of labor after asking OB-GYNs about cervical checks on Instagram and TikTok. Her post, in which she questions why providers still rely on manual finger exams to measure dilation, has racked up more than 3 million views.

In her video, Gilbert demonstrated the exam by widening her fingers into a V shape. She expressed disbelief that in an age of “flying cars,” this remains the standard, saying, “We are freaking cave women.” To provide context, she pulled out a wine glass and, pointing to the base, said, “When they say that a woman needs to be dilated 10 cm to give birth, they’re not talking about the vajayjay, okay. They are talking about what happens at the end of the tunnel.”

Gilbert told her viewers that she was “shuddering in fear” during her first labor, saying she was already in pain from contractions when different nurses performed hourly, uncomfortable checks. She explained that because different providers use their own fingers to gauge progress, the results can feel inconsistent. She then jokingly challenged the OB-GYN community to come up with a solution, saying, “I give you guys six months, okay? Six months. OBGYN communities. I’m taking like a sensor.”

Many commenters framed it as a gender gap

In the comments, many viewers argued that if men had to go through labor, “there would have been all sorts of gadgets invented to remove discomfort,” as one user put it. Another user pointed out that technology exists “to measure an entire mansion with just a laser device. No need to touch a single wall,” yet dilation is still checked by hand. One person joked, “a QR code would do.”

Some commenters who said they work in medicine also weighed in. One who said she was an OB-GYN wrote, “As an OBGYN, and a woman.. I APOLOGIZE!! But this is extremely accurate.” Another commenter who said they were a physician asked, “Why is women’s research so so backwards and underfunded that we dont have atraumatic devices to accurately assess the pelvis and see cervical dilatation and effacement!” The same commenter said they would also prefer “a more comfortable way to check the progress of labour.”

According to the Cleveland Clinic, a cervical check is a physical exam in which a provider uses their fingers to assess the cervix, including dilation, effacement, consistency, position, and fetal station. The clinic notes that the checks can be uncomfortable or painful, and that for some women they are one of the most uncomfortable parts of labor. Because the risk of infection rises as checks become more frequent, providers tend to do them only when necessary.

The clinic says cervical checks can identify a complication in rare cases, but for the most part provide “nice to know” info rather than “need to know” info. It also states that patients decide whether to receive a check, and that providers must get their consent. According to the clinic, labor is hard to predict, and a cervical check only offers a glimpse into the current moment rather than a prediction of what comes next. Last month, a video of a husband delivering his own baby before the medical team arrived drew attention online.

In her post, Gilbert doubled down on her request for a solution in time for the birth of her second child. She wrote in her caption, “I give all of u 6 months before i sue everyone.”

Attack of the Fanboy was unable to independently verify Gilbert’s labor team’s side of the story, as this account originates solely from her Instagram and TikTok posts.