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Latest Studies Show Reading Fox News May Lead to Retardation

by William Schwartz

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Fox News is at it again in their campaign to smear our favorite pastime.  Bulletstorm was the new hot topic for the news outlet and in the latest editorial the upcoming first person shooter quickly becomes “the worst video game in the world”.  This is no game review, people.  This is seemingly educated individuals getting together to formulate the opinion that playing a video game will turn you into a rapist.  Sounds pretty crazy huh?  Well if this is the case, why don’t they make video games that turn us into professional athletes, surgeons, lawyers, and better human beings? Ummm because they don’t do that.

In traditional Fox News fashion they believe that Bulletstorm is the crescendo of video games violence, where the 100’s of millions of video games player worldwide will all combust into raping maniacs if someone doesn’t do something.  And they may be right, they had scientists to validate these sensationalist headlines.

Anchoring the team of short bus all stars, Dr . Jerry Weichman a clinical scientist at Neuroscience Institute  told the news outlet

“Violent video games like Bulletstorm have the potential to send the message that violence and insults with sexual innuendos are the way to handle disputes and problems.”

Dr. Jerry took the less controversial road with his statement but what came next may have you questioning the accreditation of the universities that are allowed to hand out diplomas to doctors in America, when a much more idiotic quote came from Carol Lieberman

“The increase in rapes can be attributed in large part to the playing out of [sexual] scenes in video games,” the author added, without telling us where this “fact” came from.

Fox news did let a rational person speak, outside of the sensationalist haters of the First Amendment.  Hal Halpin, the president of the Entertainment Consumers Association made a few rational comments on the subject matter.

“Between a great ratings system, parental controls on the consoles and the major retailers inhibiting the sale of Mature-rated games to minors, the matter is really one for parents and adults to consider, individually,”

“I respect the creative rights of game developers to make a game like Bulletstorm in the same way that I appreciate Quentin Tarantino’s right to make over-the-top movies like Kill Bill.”

“One thing that tends to be ignored is that if Bulletstorm consisted solely of beating people up, it wouldn’t be fun to play. It’s been praised for encouraging innovative thinking. Bulletstorm involves developing new moves and dispatching of enemies creatively. Plenty of emotionally unstable adults will play the game and they’ll be fine.”

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