A man told his Tinder date he’d pick her up Friday only if she handed over her phone password, then added ‘I don’t chase, I choose’

Dating can get complicated after a first date, particularly when two people have different expectations about what comes next. According to TikTok creator Lettie (@girlcodelettie), she says a Tinder date made those expectations clear when he allegedly sent her a list of conditions for seeing him again.

In a video posted to her account, Lettie shared a message she claims she received from the man after their date. She says the conditions included deleting her other dating apps, giving him her phone password and changing who she followed on social media.

The alleged demands did not stop at dating apps. Lettie says the man also had opinions about how much she drank, which men she followed and whether she went on girls’ nights, all of which she claims were part of his expectations for seeing her again.

The phone password was only one of his alleged rules

According to Lettie, the man said he enjoyed their date but had certain expectations for someone he was seriously dating and did not think they were “unreasonable.” He allegedly took issue with her ordering another glass of wine, saying he wanted a woman who knew when “enough is enough.”

He also allegedly wanted her to delete her other dating apps because he did not want her talking to other men. He then reportedly asked for her phone password so he could check whether she had deleted them, a demand that makes dating apps on his phone an especially relevant comparison when privacy becomes an issue.

Lettie also claims the man wanted her to unfollow or block men she had previously dated because he believed there was a reason she had been attracted to them. He reportedly also said he did not want a woman who considered girls’ nights important while in a relationship.

The message reportedly ended with him leaving the choice to Lettie, saying he wasn’t asking anything he wouldn’t expect from someone he was seriously dating. He said if she accepted the terms, he’d pick her up at 7 on Friday, but if not, he wasn’t going to try to convince her to meet his standards, adding, “I don’t chase, I choose.”

According to Lettie, she showed the message to her friends, who were shocked by the conditions. She also claims they pointed out that the man was still connected on social media with people he had previously dated or found attractive.

That claim, along with the rest of the story, comes from Lettie’s account. The TikTok does not independently establish the man’s identity, his version of the conversation or every detail of what happened on the date.

The privacy issue is hard to overlook when the alleged condition involved access to her phone. Dating-app encounters can raise other concerns too, as shown by a dating app meetup that left one man questioning what he had walked into.

Viewers had their own reaction to Lettie’s account, with some encouraging her to block the man. One commenter summed up the response by writing, “That is not a red flag; that’s a red carpet.”