Attack of the Fanboy

ESRB Had to Have Fun Writing Bulletstorm’s Rating

by William Schwartz


In a summary that contains the words, Gag Reflex, Rear Entry, Drilldo, and Mile High Club, the writers at the ESRB had to crack a smile when trying to put into words what exactly Bulletstorm is.  As we have been getting closer to launch of the game, it has become pretty apparent that Bulletstorm is pulling no punches when it comes to vulgarity in anyone’s eyes.  Whether it’s your mother, father, brother, sister, Bullstorm is sure to offend many.

It may possibly offend your own sensibilities, who knows.  The game is still a couple of months away but the ESRB just released it’s rating on the game and I like to look at it as a precursor to what reviews will look like.  Just wait til funny man Jim Sterling, the reviews editor for Destructoid, gets his hands on that one.  Should be great laughs come February 22nd when the game releases.   And don’t forget, the Epic Edition will net you a beta code for Gears of War 3 as well so you should be planning to buy the Xbox 360 version if you want Gears 3 beta in your future.

Here’s the ESRB run-down.

“This is a first-person shooter in which players assume the role of a space pirate who must escape a planet populated by mutant cannibals. Players use futuristic machine guns, shotguns, magnum revolvers, assault rifles, and chain guns to perform over-the-top kills that dismember and decapitate foes. Injured enemies emit large sprays of blood that stain the ground and surrounding walls. Specialty kills (i.e., Skillshots) represent the most intense instances of violence: enemies can be dismembered with explosives; impaled on spikes; and drilled into walls, resulting in body parts breaking into pieces. During the course of the game, players can consume alcohol and kill enemies in order to receive an Intoxicated Skillshot; the screen turns blurry during these sequences. The dialogue contains numerous jokes and comments that reference sexual acts, venereal diseases, and having sex with one’s mother (e.g., “Guess I know where the ol’ gal got that limp.”). The names of some Skillshots are infused with sexual innuendo (e.g., Gag Reflex, Rear Entry, Drilldo, Mile High Club); one Skillshot (i.e., Fire in the Hole) allows players to shoot at enemies’ exposed buttocks. Language such as “f**k,” “sh*t,” “p*ssy,” and “c*ck” can be heard in dialogue.”

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