Atlanta woman told a man she was a lesbian to end his advances, but he paused and responded ‘does it matter?’

A woman in Atlanta shared a video on TikTok about a confusing encounter she had with a man who approached her in a park. After she told him she was a lesbian to end the interaction, he responded with a question she did not expect. Allyssa, who posts under the name @thelesbianpassport on TikTok, shared the details. The video has gained 1.7 million views since then.

The encounter started in a fairly ordinary way. A man named Charles approached Allyssa, introduced himself, told her he thought she was cute, and asked if she was single. To end the conversation quickly and clearly, Allyssa told him she was gay. Instead of walking away, the man paused and asked, “Does it matter?”

Allyssa said she was caught off guard by the question and could only respond with, “Yeah.” It appeared that while Charles may have accepted a rejection involving another man, he seemed unable to process the idea that she simply was not interested in men at all.

The comment section filled with responses from viewers who related to the frustration.

Many people who watched the video left comments sharing their own frustrations. Some pushed back on the idea that any explanation was necessary at all, with one user writing, “You don’t owe him any explanation.” Others focused on the way Allyssa handled herself during the interaction, with one commenter saying, “Don’t apologize for being you.”

One viewer connected the moment to a wider pattern, writing, “Girl don’t say ‘sorry.’ I’ve realized I’m so tired of apologizing for being taken, gay, or not interested.” The comment reflected a sentiment shared by many others in the section, where women described feeling pressured to soften their rejections even when their reasons were clear.

Not everyone in the comments focused on the rejection itself. Some were simply caught off guard by the man’s response, with one user writing, “‘Does it matter?’ I said BRO out loud.” The reaction captured how many viewers felt hearing the exchange for the first time.

A few people also questioned the circumstances of the recording. One commenter wrote, “Just happened to be filming…” while another asked directly, “What an awkward interaction! However, I genuinely want to know were you randomly recording or just a set up?” It is not clear from the video whether Allyssa addressed those questions. Similar repeated rejections from a man at a gym were documented in a New Jersey incident.

Allyssa’s video and others like it have continued to draw attention to how women often feel they must offer a reason for their disinterest, rather than a simple “no” being enough. The comments on her video suggest that a large number of women have encountered similar situations and found them equally frustrating. Similar unsettling encounters, like a Chicago woman noticing a man in her elevator never pressed a floor, show how women must navigate ambiguous threats.