Sara Gilson’s ex-husband says he ‘begged her’ to leave Shawn Duffey for five years before the case took a deadly turn

Sara Gilson’s first husband says he spent years urging her to leave Jeremiah “Shawn” Duffey. He now believes those warnings became a heartbreaking reality after Duffey allegedly killed Gilson before taking his own life in what investigators believe was a murder-suicide.

Speaking to People, Lyle Landers said he repeatedly tried to help Gilson leave the relationship during the last five years. The former couple shared two children and remained on good terms after their divorce. Landers said he always feared Duffey posed a serious danger to her from the beginning of their relationship.

Gilson, a 43-year-old lifestyle and beauty influencer, was found dead alongside Duffey, 48, at her Oklahoma home last Thursday. Her death came less than six weeks after she asked the court for an emergency protective order. She claimed Duffey had threatened suicide and disappeared before the order could be served. Duffey was ordered to stay 300 feet away from Gilson. The order forced him to move out of the home they had shared.

She tried to do the right thing and still couldn’t escape

Landers said that he and Gilson ended their marriage amicably about seven years ago. They continued to successfully co-parent their children. He said Gilson appeared trapped in a relationship where abusive behavior had become normalized. Despite repeatedly offering to help her leave, she never felt able to break away. Landers said Duffey seemed to have a powerful hold over her that made leaving extremely difficult.

Court records cited by The Oklahoman show Duffey was accused of sexually assaulting a 15-year-old girl he coached on a youth basketball team. The alleged abuse reportedly took place over an extended period across multiple states. 

A protective order for the teenager was issued the same day Gilson requested her own order. According to court documents, Duffey allegedly sent the girl inappropriate messages. He also allegedly kissed and touched her inappropriately. Investigators said he invited her to his hotel room during a tournament and allegedly offered her money to remain silent.

Investigators said another coach reported witnessing an assault inside an elementary school where the traveling team had rented court space during a school break. That report to the girl’s guardians reportedly led to the investigation. Two weeks before her death, Gilson referred to the allegations in a TikTok video using a Netflix documentary trend. During the clip, she called Duffey a pedophile. According to reports, Duffey avoided contact with police after the allegations surfaced and never stood trial before his death.

Gilson also sought protective orders against Duffey twice in 2021. Both cases were dismissed after she did not attend the scheduled hearings. Landers revealed that Gilson was a devoted mother who would have done anything for her children. He said her efforts to protect another child from Duffey ultimately became part of the tragic chain of events that ended her life.