All of Candy Cadet’s Stories in Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria Simulator

Candy Cadet is a new character(?) introduced in Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria Simulator and, aside from being my new favorite character in the Five Nights at Freddy’s franchise, can tell weird, dark stories to the player that probably have something to do with the series’ lore. To hear a story from Candy Cadet, you’ll need to buy him and place him in your restaurant and then continuously “Play Test” him. Basically, it all comes down to RNG, but sometimes, if you’re lucky, Candy Cadet will tell you a story. Hearing these stories is in no way necessary to get any of the endings available in Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria Simulator or anything, so if you’d rather not spend potentially hours of your life trying to hear Candy Cadet’s RNG stories, I’ve transcribed all three of them here.

The Five Orphans

“Now I will tell you a story. A story about a kind man who would visit five orphans and bring them toys and gladness. The man lived alone and lived in fear that someone might break into the house of one of the five children. So he adopted all five and brought them together in one place in his own home. He promised them to never leave them, and they promised to always come home and never stay out too late. He left one day to buy food, his heart being filled with gladness, but returned to find that the burglar had chosen his home and killed all five of the children. The man could only afford one coffin, so he stitched the five bodies together to make one, and buried the child. That night, there was a knock at the door.”

The Five Keys

“Now I will tell you a story about a young woman who was sealed in a small room. In the room was a furnace and five keys. She was told that each of the five keys would unlock one of five doors outside her room. Inside each room was a child that she could take with her as she fled the building. But she was only allowed to leave her own room with one key, not all five. Desperate to find a way to save all five children, the woman melted the five keys together in the furnace to create a single key, hoping it would unlock all five doors. But, of course, it did not work that way. Now her key opened none of the doors. Rather than leaving her room with a key to one life, she had taken with her the key to five deaths.”

The Five Kittens

“Now I will tell you a story about a little boy. He had a red snake that he kept in a metal cage whose hunger could not be satisfied. One day, the boy found five baby kittens outside his house. He brought them inside and kept them in a shoebox. He knew that the snake might kill them, but could not bring himself to get rid of the snake. He knew that if he chose one kitten to feed to the snake, it might be satisfied, but he could not choose. So, he went to bed, leaving the cage open. The snake went to the shoebox, chose a kitten at random, and ate it. After five nights had gone by, the boy was full of regrets, and cut the snake open. He pieced the remains together and put the kitten back into the shoebox.”

Given the themes of these stories, as well as the fact that they are being told in a robotic, monotone voice, this is possibly the creepiest thing in Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria Simulator. All three stories share a theme of someone trying to save five of something, only to have all five die, as well as a theme of combining five things into one. I have no doubt that these are all analogies or metaphors for something pertaining to the five main animatronics and the Afton family, but I’ll leave that for the Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria Simulator theorists to figure out.