Father says his 20-year-old son is dating 19-year-old first cousin, and state law allows it. He turns to the internet for advice

A father is currently navigating a difficult family situation after discovering that his 20-year-old son is dating his 19-year-old first cousin, Daily Dot reported. The parent turned to the Reddit community r/NoStupidQuestions to seek advice on how to handle his disapproval while maintaining a healthy relationship with his child.

The father explained that his son is an adult living on his own. He noted that the couple did not grow up together and only met a few years ago. Despite his strong personal feelings against the pairing, the father acknowledged that the relationship is legal in their state. Because the law permits it, he is trying to find a way to react that does not end up damaging their bond.

The original poster wrote, “My son (…) [is] an adult and lives on his own. I obviously don’t like this but still want to support him.” One of the biggest concerns for the father involves the potential health implications for any future children. He stated that he already discussed the genetic risks with his son, who reportedly mentioned that the couple has no plans to have children together.

The father wants to avoid driving a wedge between himself and his son

Medical experts generally note that while children of first cousins face a higher risk of specific inherited genetic disorders compared to the general population, the absolute increase in risk remains relatively modest for a single first-cousin union. Because of this, organizations like the National Society of Genetic Counselors suggest that related couples seek out professional genetic counseling.

My son is dating his cousin
by u/Liamftm0 in NoStupidQuestions

The Reddit post gained significant traction, receiving more than 5,000 upvotes. Many users encouraged the father to prioritize open communication rather than attempting to force the couple apart. One of the most-upvoted responses read: “There’s not much you can do except to strongly encourage them to get genetic counseling if they plan on having children together. … The more upset you get about the relationship, the more likely he is to rush into something serious.” The father expressed his agreement with this sentiment, noting, “I just don’t want to make things worse.”

Other commenters focused on the social consequences of the relationship, which has reportedly been going on for six months. Several users pointed out, “An unfortunate outcome of this will be the gossip and talk amongst the friends group and family group, and it could be [lifelong].” These users suggested that the couple needs to understand the potential impact this could have on their broader family dynamics as time goes on.

A recurring theme in the advice was that the father has limited options since his son is an adult. One user pointed out, “You can’t really do anything about it unless you want to cut him out of your life.” The father replied that he “[does not] want that,” and basically “that’s the issue.”