Woman learns of husband’s year-long affair from his mistress, but says she isn’t leaving the home they built together

A woman says she found out about her husband’s affair when the other woman called her out of the blue and left a voicemail warning her about his lies. She shared her story in a post on Reddit‘s r/TwoXChromosomes subreddit under the username throwaway91126.

The woman said she and her husband had been married for many years and have kids together. She described the marriage as having its ups and downs, but said the last few months had been calm, with her husband acting sweet and loving.

She wrote that she got a call from an unknown number while at work and let it go to voicemail. The caller identified herself and said she wanted to reach out before the husband could “tell you a lie.”

Mistress said she had been dating the husband for a year

In the voicemail, the woman said the caller told her, “I’ve been dating him for a year. If you want the details I’m here to answer them.” The Reddit user said she called the number back from her car, and the two spoke. Online disclosures about infidelity can lead to shocking revelations, as in a viral TikTok about a woman who discovered a secret symbol-covered room. 

She said the other woman told her she had known about the wife’s existence for a long time, but that the husband had told her several lies, including claims that his wife was abusive and that he wanted a divorce. According to the post, the other woman also knew the wife’s schedule and used it to plan phone calls with the husband when she wasn’t home.

The Reddit user said the other woman brought up a trip she had taken with her kids to visit her parents the month before, and described what happened in the house while she was away. She also said the two had recently been looking at apartments together before the husband started acting suspicious, which led her to contact the wife.

The woman said that once she confirmed the truth, she told the other woman, who then blocked the husband. After the call, the Reddit user said she went home and confronted her husband. She wrote that he made a brief attempt to deny it and asked her to listen to him before leaving the house with only his clothes, phone, and car keys. She said she then blocked him. 

She said she took her children to a friend’s house so she could process what happened without upsetting them, and clarified in a later edit that she had not taken them anywhere without permission, saying they were teenagers with cell phones who were simply going to a sleepover.

In an edit to her post, the woman said she planned to contact a lawyer and did not intend to leave her home. She wrote, “There is no saving a marriage where my husband slept with someone else and me the same night.” Betrayals can lead to difficult choices, like when a woman went on a trip with her husband and came home without him after a double betrayal. 

The post drew a large number of comments, many offering advice on divorce, finances, and communication. One commenter wrote, “Hate to say it but this isn’t the time for emotions. Start gathering evidence, texts, he left the domicile, reach out to lawyers for advice and choose one. Gather friends or family who will support you unequivocally.” Another advised, “Oh, also, lock down money that he has no access to, ASAP.”

Some commenters suggested she stay in the house rather than move out. One wrote, “If it’s safe – stay in your house and do not move out. Hopefully you have a stash of money safely somewhere (since you work maybe you have a savings)- make sure at some point to change beneficiaries to your kids/trustee or whatever you want to do on your own accounts and your own investments.”

Others focused on communication going forward. One commenter wrote, “Stiff drink. A lawyer. No communication that isn’t text or email.” Another suggested, “And unblock him ASAP so you have documentation of all received texts. Just don’t reply if you want no contact. But you want need records of what is being said.”

Several commenters offered support without giving advice. One wrote, “You did nothing wrong, cheaters cheat it doesn’t matter who they’re with.” Another said, “The only advice I have is that this is actually a good thing that is happening to you. He’s a lying cheating f–k and your life will be better without him.”